


don't make promises you cannot keep

by loretoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 15:24:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13169751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loretoo/pseuds/loretoo
Summary: Chanyeol kissed Kyungsoo out of nowhere at the dorm after the MAMAs, when his short, black haired friend arrived from the hospital after injuring his ankle.





	1. 1.

Chanyeol kissed Kyungsoo out of nowhere at the dorm after the MAMAs, when his short, black haired friend arrived from the hospital after injuring his ankle.

When it was over, -when Kyungsoo woke up from the stupor and stopped kissing Chanyeol back-, the tall man stared at Kyungsoo with hope, fear and something more in his eyes Kyungsoo couldn’t quite decipher.

After long seconds of awkward silence, Kyungsoo whispered excuse me and walked past Chanyeol, walking with difficulty straight to the bathroom and locking himself there. He took a shower and by the time he was out, Chanyeol was already gone.

 

Kyungsoo thought, no- he knew Chanyeol was just confused. He had to be. Chanyeol was his best friend, for years. And for years Kyungsoo had buried his feelings deep inside because he knew for a fact that Chanyeol was straight and saw him just as friend, no more. Besides, Kyungsoo was already used to the idea of Chanyeol never liking him back and he was okay with it. He didn’t want things to change.

Kyungsoo was a simple man, in his opinion. He liked simple things, simple clothes, and simple relationships. And that was one of the reasons he recited like a mantra in his head when he felt his heart being crushed to pieces everytime Chanyeol went on a date, or everytime Chanyeol would touch him in a more intimate way for the sake of fanservice.

So he had no right to kiss him like that, with so much passion and fierce, almost moaning against his mouth, bringing back to life all the butterflies in his stomach he thought were dead. He had to be confused. He had to be. So he convinced himself. Next morning he was going to do Chanyeol a favor and act like nothing had happened.

  
  


It was hard to live with twelve people. It was hard enough when they were six, but now with twelve and sometimes more when the manager decided to spend the night, it was insane. So avoiding Chanyeol entirely was out of the question, but luckily there was always someone else and it was easy not being left alone with him.

But Chanyeol was determined in staring at Kyungsoo from a distance when he thought he wasn’t looking, asking if he needed help with his ankle every five minutes and just… acting weird. It was infuriating. By three in the afternoon, much to Kyungsoo’s relief, Chanyeol and some others left to the SM building, so he was left to rest in the quiet company of Luhan, Minseok and Jongin- who was finishing his lunch and would go to bed in about two minutes and thirty seconds.

Resting in the couch of the living room he could hear Luhan and Minseok’s hushed whispers and laughs, and he wondered how awesome it would be to have something like that… shaking his head quickly when an image of him and Chanyeol under the covers of their bed hit him like a wave.

Brain. Don’t.

  
  
  


The days passed and things were still awkward, both kind of ignoring each other, and Kyungsoo wonders how tired and busy his co-members must be because no one has said a thing or realized something weird was happening. Or maybe he does have talent in acting and he should pursue that dream.

Being in bed is comfy, but not being able to walk for several days is making Kyungsoo lose his mind. He’s getting really good at hearing, though, and that’s why he can tell who's leaving the dorm and who’s staying. He can hear the manager giving some news and he sounds excited, so he assumes they won another award or something. Soon enough Baekhyun enters the room excited and starts blabbering about a party and drinks and it’s a shame you can’t come, Soo but he doesn’t look sad at all. Kyungsoo just smiles and unsuspiciously asks who’s going.

“Everyone I guess, I think Luhan hyung is feeling kind of sick so he will probably stay”

Kyungsoo feels relieved. It’s not that he’s afraid of the possibility of being alone with Chanyeol but ignoring each other for days has only increased the doubts in his head and the tension about the inevitable talk.

When the door finally shuts and silence surrounds him, he gets his tablet ready to watch a movie or maybe an anime, and grabs some snacks he has hidden under the bed. Before he can press play he hears talking. Of course Minseok would stay to watch after Luhan… those two, so he decides to plug his earphones in.

But another interruption, and his door is being opened without knocking. Rude. He has no time to protest because Chanyeol is the one standing in front of him, party clothes and makeup and hair and damn, he looks hot.

“I thought you were going to the party?” Kyungsoo asks trusting his voice not to waver. It doesn’t.

“I was… but I couldn’t” was Chanyeol’s reply. Then, awkward silence.

“Okay… why?” Kyungsoo tries to fasten the conversation. Since when is Chanyeol out of words, ever?

“I… Minseok hyung stayed to take care of Luhan… I wanted to do the same” A pause. “For you”.

“Oh” Kyungsoo said dumbly. “You shouldn’t… I’m fine. It’s just a sprained ankle” Chanyeol just kept staring at the floor, so Kyungsoo kept talking “Besides we’re not…”. Chanyeol raised his eyes, and Kyungsoo had to look away. “We’re not like them”

“What do you mean? You are my best friend” Chanyeol walked closer and sat gently on the bed, careful not to touch Kyungsoo’s foot.

“They are not just best friends, you know” giggling and a moan came from the room next door to backup Kyungsoo’s sentence. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo flushed and looked away from each other quickly. “See?” Kyungsoo smiled.

“Well, we could be-”

“No” Kyungsoo said firmly.

“Why not?”

“It’s too complicated… we are bandmates, we don’t-”

“I like you” Chanyeol interrupted. “And I’m sorry if this ruins our friendship but I realized that what I feel towards you it’s not simple friendship… There’s more and I can’t keep denying it anymore… I want to be with you, Kyungsoo”

Kyungsoo was left speechless. “I… I don’t know, Yeol”

“Do you like me back?” Chanyeol looked hopeful, staring at Kyungsoo and waiting for the answer he wanted.

“I…” Kyungsoo looked away again. “No, Chanyeol… you are my best friend and nothing else. We shouldn’t over complicate things, what if it doesn’t work out?”

“What if it does work out? Damn it, Kyungsoo…” Chanyeol came even closer trying to catch his friend’s eyes. “Give me a chance, I can-”

“You are not even gay, Chanyeol… what are you talking about”

“Maybe I’m not, maybe you are my exception, maybe I’m something I haven’t learned the name yet… I have asked myself that question so many times I stopped caring altogether… The only thing I know for sure is that I like you”

Kyungsoo felt tears forming and burning his eyes from behind. Why was this happening and what was he so afraid of?

They could hear when the moaning next door stopped. Then muffled conversation, and someone going to the bathroom down the hall.

“Take a risk… for us” Chanyeol pleaded. “They did and look how happy they are” He smiled shyly making a head movement to the wall. Kyungsoo did not smile.

“I can’t… right now, I can’t” Chanyeol looked devastated. Kyungsoo felt the same way. So he quickly added. “I do like you, Yeol… I like you probably more than you like me and that’s why I can’t say yes”

“I don’t understand”

“If you change your mind it’s going to be me the one that’s going to get hurt… I have liked you for years and I have tried to unlike you for years, too” wide teary eyes stared at Kyungsoo.

“I won’t change my mind, Soo… I promise” Chanyeol placed a hand on Kyungsoo’s cheek, his voice breaking.

“Don’t make promises you cannot keep” Kyungsoo whispered with his eyes closed. He felt Chanyeol’s hand leave his face and then a loud bang. When he opened his eyes, he was alone in his room. Kyungsoo let out the tears he had been holding and covered himself with his blankets, hoping the night would cure everything.

  
  
  



	2. 2.

Kyungsoo woke up with regret and confusion in his heart. It was very early in the morning, but the members were already back. Jongin was sleeping soundly on the bed next to his, but Chanyeol’s bed was untouched. He went to the kitchen and found nothing. He wasn’t on the living room or the studio. Why did he wanted to found him, anyways? It’s not like he had changed his mind over sleep. Kyungsoo was giving up and going back to sleep when he heard someone turning on the kettle. It was Minseok.

“Oh, morning Soo” he smiled. Their hyung was always the first one to wake up and he always looked so fresh and well slept. Everybody wondered what was his secret.

“Morning, hyung”

“How’s your ankle?”

“It’s… better, actually. It doesn’t hurt when I walk anymore” Minseok gave him a small smile as he prepared two cups of coffee and some biscuits. Kyungsoo smiled back and headed back to his bedroom, stopping when he heard Minseok calling for him.

“Kyungsoo, I… I heard something last night”

“Oh... Really?”

“I went to the bathroom last night, I heard Chanyeol’s voice and then I saw him leaving” Kyungsoo stared at the floor. “I don’t know what it was about, but I can imagine…”

“Hyung, no offense but it’s none of your business”

“I know, I’m sorry” Minseok smiled sadly “But… if it is what I think it is, I want you to know that I was in the same place once… and an advice from a dear friend of mine helped me a lot” Kyungsoo raised his eyes and stared at Minseok surprised. “If you need someone to talk to… you know you can come to me, right?”

Minseok grabbed the tray with his and Luhan’s breakfast and walked closer to Kyungsoo.

“Yeah… thank you, Minseok hyung”

Minseok gave him a reassuring smile and left to his room.

  
  


When it was late in the afternoon Chanyeol finally came back, but he didn’t even look at Kyungsoo once.  He quickly disappeared with Baekhyun following him closely to the studio.

“Where were you the whole day? Joonmyun was worried”

“I went to my parents…” Chanyeol said letting himself fall in one of the chairs.

“What happened yesterday?” Baekhyun sat in front of him.

Chanyeol stared at the coffee table separating them both. He didn’t want to talk about what had happened ever again, but Baekhyun was also his best friend and if he kept saving things to himself he was going to lose his mind. No one knew about his feelings, so he had to start from the beginning. He wasn’t scared of the reaction, but… it was just awkward. Kyungsoo was their friend, and everyone assumed Chanyeol was straight, so it was a lot to process.

“Whoa… I… just… give a minute” when Chanyeol was done with explaining,  Baekhyun sat back on his chair and stared at Chanyeol for a few seconds.

“Gah! You are such a creep, stop staring at me”

“This is a lot, okay! Jesus… okay, it’s okay, I’m good” Chanyeol waited for his friend to stop blabbering. “Ok, you like Kyungsoo”

“Yes” Chanyeol replied confidently. “A lot”

“And Kyungsoo likes you back”

“That’s… what he said, but he also said I was confused and that I was going to change my mind and that it was too complicated”

“In a way, I kinda understand him?” at this Chanyeol made a funny face of betrayal, none of this made any sense to him but Baekhyun undesrtood Kyungsoo? “But I also understand you, so... you just have to prove him wrong”

“Explain?”

“Pursue him, ask him out… what did you expect, Yeol? Kyungsoo falling into your arms just like that? Do it right, man… pretend he isn’t your best friend for a while, he is just the boy you like” Surprisingly, Baek’s word made a lot of sense.

“You are right, woah… thanks Baek” Chanyeol was seeing the light. For the first time in a long time his next step was clear in front of him. “Since when did you get so wise?”

Baekhyun just laughed and made a dismissive gesture with his hand.

Conquering Kyungsoo sounded simple in theory. The boy already liked him - his own words- and they were already best friends, Chanyeol knew Kyungsoo’s taste, choice of activities, things that made him laugh and topics for a good and long conversation. And on top of that, they already kissed.

In practice, all of this made the whole task way harder. The steps Chanyeol usually used to woo any romantic interest were now invalid, the hello, i’m an idol attitude was irrelevant too, and acting interested but distant was definitely not going to work. He never really had to do a lot, if he was being honest, his goods looks and fame already too much for all of his victims.

And the most important factor of all, everytime Chanyeol came close to Kyungsoo, tried to talk to him or their eyes accidentally met, his brain became literally mush.

  
  


He started with subtle comments on interviews, like a coward he thought, because Kyungsoo couldn’t reply or do anything, but it was the only resource the poor lanky korean came up to.

“Kyungsoo sings really well”

“Kyungsoo is the best cook in the group”

And others not so subtle: “I would date D.O is one of us were a girl”, “I like Kyungsoo the most”

Backstage, Kyungsoo would just avoid him or give him deathly looks. He knew what Chanyeol was doing, he wasn’t stupid. But he couldn’t decide if he was being angry about it or kind of amused.

The second step took more courage, and it was actually talk to Kyungsoo at the dorm, offering help to cook, wash the dishes and even cleaning their no longer shared bedroom.

Some days, he felt like he was actually making some progress. Kyungsoo would quietly accept his help, and they would clean the kitchen together in silence, enjoying each other’s company. Other days, Kyungsoo wouldn’t even look at him ditching him to go out with other members. Chanyeol was really, actually trying, but Kyungsoo's reactions only made him sad and frustrated.

If Chanyeol was confused and tired of everything, then Kyungsoo was three times more confused. Not with Chanyeol per se, but with himself. His mind hadn’t changed since that awful night when he rejected Chanyeol, but seeing him try kind of melted his heart. Kyungsoo was a man who found very difficult to let his emotions guide him. To him, it was really hard for his head to stop circling around the same thoughts and to stop convincing himself of something he didn’t even knew mattered anymore.

There were only two other members Kyungsoo felt like he could relate, that he thought his minds and hearts worked the same way as his. One of the was Junmyeon, but he already had a lot being the leader of the group and pretending to be Sehun and Zitao’s personal advisor and guardian. The second member was Minseok, who already offered help, but Minseok was in such an amazing and apparently perfect relationship, Kyungsoo felt bad about his petty problems. Besides, Minseok was his hyung. He respected him a lot.

Whatever, desperate times call for desperate measures. He would have to swallow his pride and steal Minseok away from Luhan for five minutes.

“Kyungsoo… my sweet Kyungsoo, I’m glad you came to me” Minseok smiled after Kyungsoo was done rambling about all of his insecurities, facts and theories he had in his mind for days. After he was done, even before Minseok replied anything, he was already feeling a lot better.

“I’m sorry if this is…”

“Don’t be sorry, I completely understand you. I was in the exact same place as you a couple of years ago, when I met Luhan”

“But… how? I mean, I thought it was love at first sight with you two, rainbows and flowers... a choir of angels” Minseok laughed at this.

“No, I mean… it kind of was love at first sight? But not really… It took me months to say yes to Luhan. I was very young, fresh outta high school and adapting to life in Seoul when this… gorgeous, talented, beautiful and kind boy started showing interest in me… I barely even made it into SM and I was already getting the biggest prize” Minseok smiled at the memories “I was… very insecure in myself, back then… At first I thought Luhan wanted to be my friend because he felt bad for me, I even thought it was a bet or something! I honestly didn’t believe him, I didn’t believe his feelings”

“What made you change your mind?”

“Well… a lot of things. Week after week, month after month, he was still trying with the same passion and stubborness as the first day. If it was a bet he would have surrender after the first two or three rejections, right? And Yixing came to me at a party once, he was drunk and speaking a weird mix of korean and chinese, and he said to me I know you don’t like him that way but couldn’t you just give him a chance?” Minseok was so into his story, and Kyungsoo too, he momentarely forgot his problems with Chanyeol. “I really did like him that way… hell, I was already in love with him by that time, so I said to myself… fuck it”

“Fuck it” Kyungsoo laughed amused.

“Yes, fuck it. I was going to take what I could, and if he ended up breaking my heart... So be it. I knew he was worth it. He was worth the broken heart”

“He never did, though”

“Nope, not once… Now everytime I wake up and I see his ugly face sleeping next to me, I know I did the right choice”

Kyungsoo felt like tearing up, but he held himself together.

“Is that why you always wake up so early every morning, hyung?” Kyungsoo asked teasing.

“Well, that… aaand Luhan is a kicker” they laughed.

 

Do Kyungsoo had never felt so at peace.

Park Chanyeol had never been more stressed out.

Chanyeol was done, he was going to try once more… all or nothing. He needed Kyungsoo to accept him or crash his heart to pieces for once and for all.

“Soo” he aproached him at the SM building, when Kyungsoo was alone practicing his lines. Kyungsoo took off his headphones and turned around to face him. “I… I can’t do this anymore, Kyungsoo… I don’t know what to do, I want you back as my friend but I just can’t ditch my feelings… I love you, Kyungsoo, I love you like I’ve never loved anyone. Please give me a chance, please let me properly prove to you that my feelings are true” Chanyeol was walking closely, scared to reach out and touch his best friend, his eyes big and watery. “Please let me b-... Why are you smiling? Are my feelings a joke to you?”

Kyungsoo didn’t reply. He chose to shut Chanyeol up with a tender, hungry kiss. Wrapping his arms slowly around Chanyeol’s neck, he could feel how the taller reacted hugging him by the waist as both of them deepened the kiss.

“Okay”

“O… okay?”

“Yes, silly… Let’s give us a chance” Kyungsoo came closer for another kiss, and against Chanyeol’s lips he whispered “ _You are worth it”_


End file.
